Many people come to me saying the same thing, just in different words:
“My mind won’t switch off.”
“I feel like I’m constantly battling my thoughts.”
“I know logically everything is okay, but my head tells a different story.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and more importantly, there’s nothing “wrong” with you.
I often describe our thoughts as a herd of wild horses running through our minds. They charge in all directions, loud, fast, relentless, sometimes completely out of control. The harder we try to stop them, the more chaotic they seem to become.
But here’s the part most people don’t realise:
The problem isn’t that the wild horses exist. The problem is that no one ever taught you how to ride one.
Why our thoughts can feel so out of control
Your mind was never designed to keep you calm or make sure that you’re happy. Its primary job is to keep you alive on the planet and protect you. This is your mind’s default setting, and it’s why, by nature, we are wired to be negative, so we notice perceived threats and danger.
This is why negative thoughts often shout louder than positive ones. They’re not trying to sabotage you; they’re trying to keep you safe.
Deep within the brain sits the amygdala, part of the limbic system, the emotional centre of the brain. You can think of it as your internal threat detector. Its role is to constantly scan your environment and your inner world for anything that might signal danger: what could go wrong, what needs attention, what might hurt you.
The amygdala links emotions to memories and sensory information. It remembers how fear felt, not just what happened. This is why a thought, a sound, or a bodily sensation can trigger anxiety long before you’ve consciously worked out why.
When it senses a threat, real or perceived, it activates the fight-or-flight response, preparing your body to react instantly. But at some stage, often during periods of stress, responsibility, trauma, or emotional overwhelm, your mind learned that staying on high alert was necessary.
And so the horses learned to bolt.
The problem is that what once protected you now starts exhausting you.
This survival system is a remarkable tool. It helped our ancestors stay alive. It helped you adapt at different points in your life, but it isn’t flawless.
A helpful way to understand this is to look at another incredible built-in survival system of the human body: our ability to regulate temperature.
When a virus or harmful bacteria enters the body, the immune system can deliberately raise our core temperature, creating a fever.
This isn’t the illness itself, it’s the body responding to what it perceives as a threat. By increasing temperature, the body creates an environment that makes it harder for the virus or bacteria to survive. In simple terms, the body is trying to cook the pathogen out.
It’s an incredibly intelligent response, and yet, we all know that a high fever can become dangerous, and even life-threatening.
The very mechanism designed to protect us can, if it runs too high or for too long, begin to harm us. That doesn’t mean the body is broken, it means the system is doing its job too well.
The mind works in much the same way. The amygdala is designed to detect danger and keep us alive. But just like a fever, it doesn’t always distinguish between a genuine, present-day threat and something that feels dangerous based on past experience, memory, or emotional learning.
So the alarm keeps sounding, and the wild herd (our thoughts) keep running.
What once helped you survive may now be overheating your system, keeping you tense, anxious, alert, and exhausted, even when there is no real danger in front of you.
Understanding this is crucial, because it changes our thinking away from “What’s wrong with me?” to “My system is trying to protect me, it just needs recalibrating”
And that understanding is where meaningful change begins.
The cycle that keeps people stuck
In my work, I see this pattern repeatedly, regardless of the presenting issue:
Thoughts create emotions.
Emotions drive behaviours.
Behaviours form habits.
Habits reinforce thoughts.
This is how people get stuck in loops such as:
- Anxiety that feeds more anxiety
- Low mood that drains motivation
- Overthinking that leads to avoidance
- Self-criticism that erodes confidence
When a negative thought fires repeatedly, “I’m not safe,” “I can’t cope”, “I’m useless”, “Something bad will happen” the body responds as if that thought is true.
The thoughts create emotions, our behaviours adjust, and the nervous system kicks in to high alert. Over time, this feeling becomes familiar, and this state of being is imprinted into our physiology and psychology.
Why fighting your thoughts doesn’t work
Many people try to “control” their mind by arguing with it, suppressing thoughts, or forcing positivity, even worse, we begin to berate ourselves and ask, ‘Why do I feel like this?”, “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why am I so weak?”
This approach rarely works, and in most cases, it just reinforces the negative emotions we’re feeling and keeps us stuck in the same emotional loop.
Imagine standing in the middle of a field, shouting at a herd of horses to stop running. They won’t. If anything, they’ll panic and scatter faster.
Your mind works the same way.
Real change doesn’t come from force; it comes from awareness.
Becoming the rider: the moment everything shifts
This is where the metaphor changes.
You don’t need to stop the horses. You need to climb onto one.
When you become aware of a thought and truly notice it without judgment, you step out of being dragged by the herd and into the role of the rider.
That moment of awareness is powerful. It’s the difference between reacting automatically and choosing intentionally.
Taking the reins doesn’t mean silencing your thoughts. It means deciding which ones deserve your attention and which ones can pass by without control over you.
As the rider steadies, the horses respond. As the nervous system feels safer, the mind slows down.
One of the most important things to understand is that thoughts don’t just exist in the mind, they are experienced in the body.
A single anxious thought can:
- Tighten the chest
- Increase heart rate
- Shallow the breath
- Create a sense of urgency or dread
This is why people often say, “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I feel it anyway.”
That feeling isn’t weakness. It’s biology.
When we work with the mind at a deeper level, rather than just intellectually, the body begins to respond differently. Safety replaces threat and our nervous system re-regulates.
And from that place, change becomes possible.
Why mindset is central to good mental health
Mental wellbeing isn’t about never having negative thoughts; it’s about not being ruled by them.
When you learn to take control of your thinking:
- Emotions become less overwhelming
- Reactions soften into responses
- Habits shift naturally
- Self-trust grows
Life doesn’t suddenly become perfect, but it becomes manageable, and for many people, that’s the difference between surviving and truly living.
How hypnotherapy and counselling can help
Sometimes, despite best efforts, the horses keep running.
This is not because you’re failing, it’s because many patterns are stored below conscious awareness.
Hypnotherapy works at the level where these automatic responses were formed. Not by reliving the past endlessly, but by helping the mind and body update outdated beliefs and reactions.
When the subconscious learns that it no longer needs to run, the herd naturally slows.
In my own life and professional journey, I’ve learned that clarity comes from understanding what’s driving the herd beneath the surface.
Again and again, I’ve seen that when people learn how to work with their mind, rather than against it, lasting change becomes not only possible, but sustainable.
A quieter mind is not a myth
If your thoughts feel chaotic, overwhelming, or exhausting, please know this:
You are not broken.
Your mind is not the enemy.
And you are not meant to manage this alone.
With the right support, it is possible to slow the horses, steady the rider, and create an inner world that feels calmer, kinder, and more in your control.
And that changes everything.
